Carol
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Join date : 2009-06-28
 |  Subject: Adam Lambert - The Fourth Talisman of Musical Hope  30.01.10 16:40 | |
| - Quote :
- Long, long ago and far, far away from the smog that is LA, your widely read and highly respected author used to be musically hip. But back in the days of yore from which he crawled out of the primordial slime, that at the time, were acid wash jean clothing and mullette haircuts, there were 3 modes of musical discovery that guaranteed not only did I know what the kids on the street were listening to; but my much wider breadth of awareness of whatever music was current at the time took me above and beyond my local area.
Unfortunately, the three talismans of tunage that made me the smug and snotty musical authority I am today, went the way of the Dodo and in writing this am I now realizing that only one of these musical modes is available and even accessible to the musically bereft masses in these o so efficient technological times where the latest version of anything was obsolete last week. Upon consideration, even the last surviving mode will be altered so greatly over the next few years alone that my talismans of musical expansion from the 80’s will be viewed as mystically unfathomable tools of ritual used to summon the Gods of Alternative, Classic Rock, Techno, and Acid House Music.
They are as follows:
Vinyl Records, Radio, Playing an Album Through Its entirety
Tunage Talisman # 1 – The Vinyl Record
By its sheer surface appearance and immediate extinction from all commercial markets of the Western World, Talisman # 1, the vinyl record, places my generation into a seemingly improbable mythological fairy land where the inhabitants would also take vials of white paint to replace any mistakes made on term papers and carbon copies of said papers were produced with wet paper soaked in purple and blue dies that when inhaled deeply got you so high you were delirious for the rest of the school day! :
“Yes, boys and girls, we used to take these very large black shiny discs, place them on a contraption that in some cases, were parts of even bigger pieces of non functional “furniture”, rotate them at various speeds, and then scratch needles across their surfaces, thus making mu-sic.”
“What Caleb? No, Records are NOT made from crushed bowling balls.”
“Speak up Caitlihn? No dear, The needle did not make records disposable nor ready to wear.”
Tunage Talisman # 2 – Radio
Back in Grampa’s day, if you wanted to hear music that was cutting edge and/or underground that was played by DJs whose shows were usually free-for-alls of uncensored banter with no commercials; you would simply tune in to any random local college radio station!!
One of the biggest “alternative” radio stations in LA today prides itself on not having a single DJ. Truly, I shudder. When I think of the radio shows given by myself and my friends back in my college days, a Harlequin teardrop begins to emerge on my face considering in between songs we would do things like have yodling contests where not just call in listeners competed but random freshmen were grabbed and forced to as well; or the roster of songs for a given show would range from the newly arrived promo copy of an Industrial album from those German guys with no eyebrows to “Que Sera, Sera” by Doris Day.
In just a few more years, the digitalization of radio will guarantee that the radio DJ will be propped next to “Guillotine Cleaner” in the “Obsolete Jobs of the Past” exhibit at your closest tourist trap wax museum, which makes me want to run into the street screaming:
PLEASE!! SOMEBODY THINK OF THE CHILDREN??????
Which leads us to:
Tunage Talisman # 3 - Playing An Album Through Its Entirety
Did you know that if you started playing both “The Wizard of Oz” with no volume on another one of those dinosaur egg contraptions from my youth, a VCR or even more ancient, a BETA player, while simultaneously sewing a needle on the vinyl surface of Pink Floyd’s “Dark Side of the Moon” the music would be in synch with the cadence of the film? No dude, I did not just come back from Amsterdam eating a batch of “funny brownies”, it’s true!
People, the music industry that we grew up with is dead. The problem is when asking the average music listener “Hey, have you seen the music industry lately?” You will hear “O yeah, just last week, it’s hanging in there just like the rest of us.”
Ummmm, the music industry went down faster and harder than the smoothest Mafia hit with the best fitting cement shoes, most of us just haven’t fully come to either accept or realize that fact yet.
Along with the regicide of the all powerful “record company”, the overall approach as to how music will be promoted and sold has been completely overturned as well. When an album was released in the past, it was an announcement to the world stating that an artist had newly made a thorough and entire opus of creative self-expression, reflecting his or her thoughts and emotional leanings during that moment in time. We hardcore music obsessives took this notion VERY seriously and made it both a battlecry and a form of club membership recognition for each other. For example:
It’s the autumn of 1985 and you’re at a swank cocktail party. A conversation strikes up about the newly released Kate Bush album, “The Hounds of Love”. Before you can take a breath in to reply, an obvious-to-everyone tipsy college girl breaks into song? saying:
“O Ma Gawd! I love that song: “BE RUNNIN’ UP THAT STREET, BE RUNNIN’ UP THAT HILL, WITH NO PROMISES!” Thank God it’s the first song on Side A so I don’t have to go finding it every time, I’ve played that one song so much, you can see the grooves!”
Clearly, a WRONG response.
As the above mentioned intoxicant begins to do the Cabbage Patch while repeating the incorrect chorus lyrics of the album’s “hit” song, you interrupt the performance art by saying:
“I can only listen to Hounds of Love when I have a good chunk of time. For me, the album is like a film or a storybook, I have to listen to each song weaving and merging into the next. I think to fully experience Kate Bush’s artistry, this album has to be listened to as one flowing artistic whole.”
Ding. Ding. Ding.
Wind the clock from the above cocktail party to the present. In the span of 2 decades the average American has been told that his attention span has gotten shorter and shorter, leaving only the tiniest window for absorption, retention and the need to consume. There may be some shred of truth to that notion, but not because all of a sudden every young boy under the age of 12 has been afflicted with ADD or that the human brain has decreased its efficiency by only absorbing a maximum of 15 seconds of information at a time. Thanks to increased subconscious manipulation through advertising ploys such as subliminal imaging and advertising as well as raised volume levels of commercials over the last 20 years, music is now being packaged as an industry of merely hot singles or hysterically devoured one hit wonders and not as timely collections of an artist’s various expressions of viewpoint and voice.
Good thing Aquarians aren’t your average Americans or average anything, for that matter.
Before I FINALLY bring Adam Lambert into this epic tale of artistic hope and woe, let me reiterate that you’d be hard pressed to find a more dismissive musical snob than myself. With that said, when attempts were made to introduce me to Adam Lambert’s voice or artistic work, the response anyone would immediately get from me would be the most audible of eye rolls or the “silencing hand”.
It wasn’t until I overheard one of my viewers on my webcam show recapping Mr. Lambert’s vocal performance on the previous night’s airing of American Idol by stating that he covered “some old country song” Ring of Something that I began to prick up my ears.
A Kid who knows Johnny Cash and competing on American Idol?? Impossible!
As badly as I wanted to dismiss yet another contestant from the talent show that made tone-scooped screeching THE American standard of good singing, I had to admit that not only was my curiosity piqued but I was seriously impressed that a kid under the age of 30 even heard of Johnny Cash, let alone chose to cover his smouldering 1963 hit, “Ring of Fire”.
But barely had the dove of hope flown out of the window of my musically intolerant mind, before being quickly rifled out of the sky when I realized that the kid with the good taste also had an ever growing army of 911 wailing girls, guys, and shemales who could not care LESS about the strategy of Mr. Lambert’s artistic choices and were only intensely concerned as to whether their flung undergarment or sex toy had gotten anywhere near the young singer’s person.
That cheap and eye poppingly dangerous ploy may have worked with the average American Idol contestant of the past but I repeat, Aquarians aren’t average by any stretch of the pantied imagination. And upon reviewing Adam Lambert’s natal chart, I then knew…………..he was our only hope.
For just as Princess Leia nervously lowers her hood and body to speak into R2-D2’s robotic memory bank nervously saying:
“Help me Obi Wan Kanobe…….
(every Aquarian reading this absent-mindedly and involuntarily responds out loud)
“YOU’RE OUR ONLY HOPE.”
I, too, beseech the aid of Young Master Lambert on his first Solar Return occurring during his Saturn Return, (aka 28th birthday) by asking that he use his vocal prowess and Aquarian sense of Futuristic Fierceness intertwined with an impressively eclectic knowledge of music history to free the American consumer from the fictitious shackles of “single track purchasing” and lead us all back into the golden light of day by salvaging the concept of the album as an entire and complete work of art!
Women are from Venus/Men are from Venus?
Richard Dawson: "We asked 100 people with a survey: “If women are from Venus, Men are from…....?”
Obese Mid Western Matriarch smiling WAY too hard: “I’ll go with Venus, Richard!”
Richard Dawson: “LET’S SEE VENUS!”
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Richard Dawson: “I’m sorry little darlin’ but we do have some great parting Ginsu knives to kill both yourself and your family with for your stu*(interruption), Yeah, Uh-huh…Oh really?”
Richard Dawson: “My apologies to our studio audience, since this is a game of the simplest of logic exercises, the answer just given would have surely lost everything for The Bloated Family but my judges are stepping in saying that in the case of Adam Lambert – Petunia here answered correctly.
The set of Family Feud comes to a horrible demise due to all the Bloateds attempting to both run and jump all at the same time towards one fixed point, that being the victorious Petunia, center stage.
Excluding Rosie O’Donnell and Richard Simmons, all of us are comprised of a combination of both masculine and feminine energies. Astrologically this is represented by the placements of 2 planets that each of us have in our birth charts: Venus and Mars.
Taking gender analaysis of both planets a step further, Venus represents how romantic we are and Mars indicates what kind of sexual drive is inherent within us.
The most charismatic personalities in history as well as the lovers of legend such as Don Juan almost always had these 2 planets next to each other or one planet in the other planet’s sign with both being placed in angular or prominent houses. When you bring together the potent forces of Venus’ lovely haze of romantic beauty with Mars’ animal like sexual forwardness, the result is one major chick/dude/shim magnet! What is key to note is people who bear this planetary combination never “do” anything to blow the sexual dog whistle, their natural presence emanates this powerful charisma, thus always drawing people to them without any active effort on their part.
Adam Lambert is no exception.
Adam Lambert: The “It’s not my fault!” Sex Symbol
When Peter Pompous here chose to identify Adam’s existence despite his known relations with “American Idol”, all it took was one view of his nose that I declared “Libra
Rising!”.
And so he was.
So as not to complicate the sexual mystique and almost hypnotic charismatic charm Adam possesses naturally, consider this: Libra = Pretty. When someone like Adam is born with the horizon, or Rising Sign in the sign of Libra, that sign’s planetary ruler, is crowned as the ruler of the entire chart. And people, do not kid yourselves, Venus as the chart ruler is not a puffy pink gowned Glinda, but rather a totalitarian dictator with the most iron of wills who goes for the jugular at even the slightest hint of insolence.
Those who are born with Venus as their chart ruler are doomed to a life of always looking their best at any given moment whether it be viewing the runways of Fashion Week to purchasing Preparation H at their local drug store. With that in mind, a Libra rising male regardless of his sexual leanings will always be seen in sometimes cool but always tasteful outfits that have the most fabulous of color combinations, along with dewey fresh faced skin with not a single hair on their bodies unkempt or unsheared in any way. Another unifying factor of a male born with a Libra Ascendant, again regardless of what he chooses from Le Menu d’Sex, is his Romanesque or aquiline nose. Libra’s symbol are The Scales and since the Ascendant rules over the 1st house of the body, what better physical feature to further bring out today’s choice of periwinkle as the color d’jour while balancing one’s overall facial structure than a streamlined, well tapered schnoz?
Keeping in mind that Adam is an enslaved minion to the planet of pretty and thus will always be dressed and coiffed better than you or I at any given moment, when he was born, Mars was in Libra in the first house of the body or self. Any planet in the 1st house will show up physically, but here we have that “smelling salts” combo of Adam’s sexual and masculine planet, Mars, being in the house of the overall self and placed in the Venus ruled sign of Libra, with the Penelope Pitstop of Prettiness herself ruling the entire chart, meaning that if Adam absentmindedly was walking past any of us, we couldn’t help but think or say, “I smell sex and candy, here.”
Mars in the first house gives a male a natural sexiness that is always being emitted like a pheromone on overdrive, regardless if said male is wearing periwinkle or is lifting the toilet seat to…..you get the picture.
So now should it be any surprise that Adam has to wear athletic support whenever stepping on stage due to the constant barrage of human sexual response to his naturally sexual, pretty self?
Adam’s Chart Ruler in Capricorn: Taste Beyond His Years
Many astrologers forget that Venus’ rulership does not only concern itself with sheer surface beauty and how well you look in a dental floss thong, The Goddess of Love oversees aesthetics, our sense of taste and style, and whatever we feel is “of worth” to us.
At the time of Adam’s birth, the planet that rules his entire chart was placed in the sign of age, status, and wisdom, Capricorn in the 4th house of one’s past and one’s childhood upbringing. When a person is born with Venus in Capricorn they are not swayed by whatever fad is overtaking the impressionably young populace at any given moment, they appreciate music of substance and admire artists who are well established in time and well respected for their skills.
What initially got me to not refute Adam’s existence was literally his Capricorn Venus! A singer under the age of 30 does not choose repertoire from the likes of Johnny Cash or Led Zeppelin by chance. Considering that when asked who originally wrote the song “Whole Lotta Love”, the average 22 year old will respond by saying something akin to “I don’t know, David Bowtie or some other old guy no one cares about?” Adam’s eclectic choices reflect an aesthetic and appreciation of the DemiGods of Classic Rock and Country that was all ready well established within him and that frankly, every young American should be required to be exposed to in my very un-humble opinion. With his Capricorn Venus being placed in the house of one’s childhood home, this would indicate that Adam was exposed to various styles of music by his parents early on and this influence of his youth and upbringing would be a major factor contributing to his wide breadth of musical knowledge he possesses today.
And for those of you who have never attempted to imitate a voice that is unto itself, like that of the great Robert Plant, I highly urge all of you to record yourselves singing your best karaoke Plantesque version of ………….OK I’ll go really easy on you, Kashmir. Those of you who aren’t completely mortified by your less than acceptable offering to the Zep God of Lead Vocals or stupefied by the stratospheric degree of vocal difficulty, get back to me and I’ll be happy to discuss!
Adam Lambert is an artist who will play a pivotal role as to how music will develop in the near future if only by the fact that his chart ruler gives him a well versed background and knowledge of well established music and artistry where from he creates his own music or artistic style that is reflective of his Aquarian Sun, a sign that is fiercely committed to retaining its sense of uniqueness and individuality.
Adam’s Lord of Karma Returns To His Exalted Throne
When an astrologer is told that the current date is someone’s 28th birthday, they withhold saying things like “Godspeed” or “Really, the poor thing!” due to their knowledge that the person is about to enter or has newly embarked upon that most challenging of astrological times, The Saturn Return.
The Saturn Return happens to all of us between the ages of 28 and 31 and indicates that Saturn has returned to the same place in the sky as it was at the time of one’s birth. For almost everyone, this period is one of challenges on every level since the planet dubbed the Lord of Karma is doing a full inventory of our lives and is determining what is still worthy, useful, and resourceful being that we are no longer foot loose and irresponsible children but official astrological adults with his re-entrance into our lives. Most who have experienced their Saturn Return will speak of changes occurring to them during those critical years that were substantial and life altering such as moving to a different location, changing jobs or career paths, having long established friendships from youth and high school be terminated or simply dissolve, ending an engagement, marriage or long term partnership, having Death remove a beloved grandparent or even pet, etc.
We are never able to step outside of all this pivotal change during our Saturn Return to clearly see why or how this is occurring, most often we can only say to ourselves “Why is this happening to me?”
Saturn rules time, responsibility and structure and thus the things being removed by the Lord of Karma will eventually be seen as having occurred for our better good. If we childishly choose to hold on to whatever is being asked of us to forfeit, Saturn will simply shrug his boney old shoulders, sit in a corner and wait while making your life a living Hell until you submit to His energies. Conversely if we act like adults, acquiesce and accept Saturn’s challenges embracing the changes all around us, the planet of structure will reward us after this rough period by showing us we done good through tangible reward, be that money, A NEW CAR!, a new job or promotion of one that wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon.
Do you think Adam Lambert would go the route of “normal” and simply do his best to get through this climate of astrological storms while learning the most he can for his soul to evolve like the rest of us????
Jeez, don’t you remember the “Aquarian as not average” theme I’ve been shouting while blaring foghorns in your face throughout this mini version of War and Peace?
Both Adam’s natal Saturn placement as well as his Saturn Return are unique and noteworthy for all of us since all of the above is occurring in the sign of the Powder Puff that just happens to be the sign The Lord of Karma likes to strut down the catwalk with the most, being that Saturn is exalted in Libra. On top of all that, Adam’s exalted Saturn Return will be in the very prominent and viewable 1st house of self.
For those of you who are of Adam’s generation and have a natally Libran Saturn, the hardships and trials you will be tested with over the next few years will also be the indicators that you now think like adults and that you have been bestowed with a gifted sense of judgement along with high minded principles that always consider what is best for the good of all. For all of you experiencing your Saturn Return while the Lord of Karma is exalted, how you eventually come to establish your own senses of fairness, truth and justice over the next few years will be made exemplary for all and will set new standards with the laws and structures that will govern future societies.
With that very Age of Aquarius-esque statement made to the masses of the future, I will state that this too, applies to Adam Lambert. Since this is all happening in his first house of self, the world will witness an entirely transformed Adam by the end of this period as if a man will emerge in the not so distant future that will obviously be Adam but with an altered soul of a different person.
Since Saturn’s activities initially have a sting to them since they deal with loss, restriction, or fear, anything Saturnine gets better with age. Since Adam’s natal Saturn resides in the house of the body and self, watch for that teeny bopper sex idol image being replaced by the prominent bone structure of a still sexy but now distinguished with aged wisdom artist.
Adam Lambert is one of the few artists of popular standing but also of high repute who is of the generation born to an exalted Saturn that can vastly change the course of where artistry as a whole is headed, saving it from being picked into minute shreds of marketability and profit margin by retaining the very Saturn ruled notion of the album as a surviving structure that acts as an overall expression of an artist’s integrity.
Obi Wan Kanobe answers Princess Leia’s implorings for aid and assistance that will bring a balanced sense of justice to their distant world in the far away future.
May Adam Lambert see that many aspects of the musical world should not just be kept, but fought for and saved if the artist wants to embark upon this Brave, New, and Aquarian World of our not so distant Future.
*Dedicated to Adam's fiercest of fans, Victoria
http://www.examiner.com/x-27160-Hollywood-Astrology-Examiner~y2010m1d30-Adam-Lambert--The-Final-Talisman-of-Musical-Hope | |
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