Carol
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 |  Subject: The Tree and the Apple- Eber Lambert talks about Adam.  15.12.09 6:53 | |
| - Quote :
Eber Lambert spoke at a charity event sponsored by the LGBT center to raise money for local kids sports programs. Eber spoke as "Adam Lambert's dad" at True North Tavern in North Park- an old school hip, laid back urban part of San Diego.
He opened his speech explaining why he was there. The tavern was a sports bar and the event was a sports charity, and he said in his household only he and his dog Maggie watched sports. He said he coached kids soccer in Poway and boasted back to back 0-11 seasons with a team of misfits he called "Team Riddlin." So sports was not the reason he was there. He explained to anyone in the tavern that may not know Adam, why Adam was famous. First American Idol. He told the story of Adam calling him in September 2008 to tell him he's going to Hollywood week on American Idol, and he'd have to quit his job to be on the show. Eber responded, "You have to quit your job to go on a game show?" He said Adam had a good paying job and asked Adam how he would support himself for 9 months with no income. He said as father son conversations go it went downhill. His dad didn't know anything about the show before Adam was on it and was obviously skeptical.
He then talked about the AMAs. He said, "In addition to the Grammy's the Billboard music awards, the People's Choice Awards and The MTV Music awards, there is apparently something called the American Music Awards." Eber seems to have a refreshing disdain for pop culture. He went on that the AMAs had three hours of suggestive musical acts with bleeped out words, raunchy dancing, crotch grabbing, breaking whiskey bottles, smashing window with a mic stand and setting a piano on fire. "A family show." he joked. Then Adam took the stage to close the show and he pushed a male dancers face in his crotch, groped several women and the french kissed his band's bass player. (To which the tavern crowd cheered.) He said that Adam's performance lead to him being banned from several shows. He said if Adam had pulled out a fake gun and pretended to shoot his bass player dead, no one would have said a peep.
Eber then transitioned to relate the AMAs to the event that night. He explained how the schools that received the funds for their sports program from this event did not want it to be made obvious that the LGBT center was sponsoring the charity. He explained how the fliers for the event had to be amended seven times before the school would accept that the LGBT center's involvement was properly concealed. Obviously, there is a stigma. He then went on to point out how sports was an integral part of the civil rights movement with black athletes being the first to breakthrough the color barrier. He then pointed out that if you just go by statistics, of the 1700 professional football players, there should be several hundred gay players. He expressed hope that "professional athletes would come out of the closet and take some of the pressure off of gay pop stars." (Another round of cheers from the tavern.)
Eber told a cute story about Adam playing sports as a little kid. He put him in t-ball and soccer. He said his best memory of Adam playing soccer was seeing Adam and another kid in the grass, finding a caterpillar, while the other kids ran up and down the field. He also said Adam did score a goal once. He kicked the ball towards the goal and the 40 lb girl goalie caught it but he said to their family they counted it as a goal and couldn't be more proud. He said when Adam was 9 he started in musical theater and finally got a make up kit for the holidays rather than a football. He said that was a happy day all around.
Eber said he was often asked what it was like to raise a gay son. He explained how he always knew but was confirmed when he found gay porn sites on the family computer. He told his son it was okay to be curious but warned him not to let his brother know. He said Adam and Neil did not get along and created a seven year war in the household. With Adam being older and much larger, his dad told Adam not to give Neil the "gay bomb" to add to his arsenal. Eber said he forgot about the porn sites, but Adam never forgot his dad's reaction and he always knew that it was okay, his dad was okay with his being gay. Eber said he got advice from gay friends to not ask Adam about his sexuality and just let him come out in his own time, which he did at 19. He also said that Adam gave his parents an easy time in high school because all of his friends were Mormon girls from dance and theater. And it turned out Adam's sexuality was a good thing because the Mormon girls went wild their senior year.
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Eber walks like Adam and has the same blue eyes, but unlike Adam, Eber does nothing to draw attention to himself. Eber is charming and calm and well spoken, but most of all Eber is humble. With his speech he made it seem like his open loving acceptance of his gay son was natural, not remarkable, and seemed surprised to be given any praise. But Eber Lambert is remarkable and Adam is so fortunate to be unconditionally loved and respected by his father. From this respect comes the basic principle that parents should be involved with their kid's lives, but not involve themselves. Eber personally was into sports so he probably was hoping his sons would be into sports. But he fully embraced that Adam liked music theater instead. And he didn't show any hesitation at his son being gay. It's simple and natural to openly love your children for who they are, but it is still so very remarkable.
So many kids are without the love and acceptance of their parents, especially their fathers. Gay kids and adults are often separated, physically or emotionally, from their families. The LA underground Adam flourished in is filled with heartbreaking stories of "weird" kids, rejected at home, refugees building their own sense of family amongst their kindred spirits. Adam's accepting father was the exception and I think it shows in Adam's success. Not just career wise but success at being centered, proud and confident, at being emotionally healthy. Eber only did what he was supposed to do- he loved his son. And the impacts of his being a loving father are now felt in the hearts of so many around the world.
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